State-Themed SWAPs/Brownies Bugs Badge

A leader that I know that lives in another state came up with a great project for her girls.  They want to collect state-themed SWAPs from every state.  After researching Washington state, I came up with a great SWAP idea.  I didn't want to do something too obvious (tree, apple, rain, etc.), so I found out that the state insect here is the Common Green Darner dragonfly.  I wanted to allow for creativity, so I just asked them to do dragonflies.  I thought they'd get too bored making the exact same thing over and over.  We made nearly 100 of these.  Well, my troop made about 20 and my kids and I finished them over spring break.  We also were able to use this as the craft portion of the Brownies Bugs Badge.  I love doing crafts with them, but love it even more when it can tie in with a badge.

I mailed these out a couple of weeks ago.  We are expecting SWAPs from 4 different states.  So far, we have received SWAPs from Maine.  Once we receive them all, I will post pictures of them.

We will see if the other troops send SWAPs in exchange for ours.  We haven't had the best of luck with these type of things so far.  For part of our World of Girls Journey, we sent Flat Juliettes to about 10 different troops throughout the country.  One troop sent ours back with pictures of what they did.  One troop has become our sister troop this year and we have written pen pal letters and sent little gifts back and forth.  We never heard back from the other 8 or so troops.

Thanks for reading!

 ~ Vanessa

First Gray Hairs

I'm 32 and officially have about 10 gray hairs.  I know that's not a lot, but they're all clumped together on the top of my head.  Really, they couldn't be more spread out?  lol, most people that are my age or younger have more than that, so I don't really care.  It looks like I'm taking after my dad.

Right now, I'm a SAHM/online college student, so I'm not too worried about dying my hair.  I dyed my hair occasionally as a teenager.  I also dyed my hair when I had a well-paying job just to treat myself.  I haven't dyed my hair in about 5 years.  Last summer, my neighbor, who is studying to be a beautician, asked if she could cut my hair.  A few months before that, I had changed up my hair just a little bit and given myself bangs.  Other than that, my hair had been pretty much unchanged for that 5 years, other than a few trims.  My neighbor layered my hair and it looked really cute.  I confess that I haven't maintained the style and just let it grow since then.

I am considering donating my hair again in the next couple of years, so I'll probably wait until after that to decide.  I have always admired older women who do not dye their hair.  I had a coworker years ago that had really dark gray hair.  I had hoped I'd have a cool color of gray like that.  My mom's hair is a snowy white when she doesn't dye her hair and it looks like I'll take after her.

Thanks for reading,

  ~ Vanessa

Delivered Fundraiser Product to Former Landlord/Friend

I did something today I've been putting off for a couple of months.  I delivered the popcorn that they ordered from my son for his Cub Scout fundraiser.

I've been putting it off for several reasons:

1) the most valid reason:  I've been ill lately.  For the last 2 months, I've had strep, an ear infection, a throat infection, and then a sinus infection.  I didn't want to go anywhere and get them ill.

2) the passive-aggressive reason:  I was waiting on them to contact me.  That was my hubby's reasoning why he didn't try harder to get a hold of them while I was ill.

3) I regained a little weight.  Over the summer, I lost 30 pounds.  From all the stress/depression from moving, I put most of it back on.  I have taken some of that back off lately.  I want to give them one less thing to gossip about.

4) it's so damn awkward!  These people went from almost-like-family to slumlords/thieves/liars within a couple of months.  I have nothing to say to them, other than:  Here's your popcorn.  At least, nothing else that's nice to say.

My Girl Scout troop did a service project today for MLK Jr. Day and did a tree planting.  Since we were relatively in the area, I decided to drop off their popcorn on the way back.  With carpooling and being dirty from the service project, I had a solid excuse to drop the popcorn and run.  I asked the other mom if it was ok to make the quick stop on the way home.  It was nice to have some moral support, as this mom has known me throughout this whole mess.

My former landlord/friend's house was filled with cars.  I was hoping they'd be at work, so I was especially nervous about a confrontation and them showing off to whoever was there.  So, I parked next door at his parent's house.  I was hoping to leave it on the porch and run.  I was halfway through the yard when his mom opened the door and came out.

Seeing his mom was happy, sad, and awkward at the same time.  I have known this family since my hubby and I started dating.  He knew them since high school.  His mom was the first person that we told when we were pregnant with our first child.  My daughter is named in part after her, as that is her middle name.  She was close to tears and tried to hug me.  I took a step back and told her I've been sick and was dirty from the service project, both of which were true.  I'm also still so pissed off at them.

Every time they have been able to help Greasy (the former friend's other best friend) or my hubby, they choose Greasy.  They have pretty well paying jobs at the same company.  Years ago, my hubby and Greasy were both looking for work.  My hubby had worked part-time jobs for years, but wanted a better job to support our family.  Greasy had never worked, but they helped him get a job there, instead.  This type of stuff has happened over and over again for the last 15 years or so that I've known them.

Same thing with the rental house.  Unbeknownst to us, they had stopped paying the mortgage and the garbage bill months before they asked us to live there.  Within a month, the garbage cans were repossessed and we had no garbage service.  3 months after that, the house went into foreclosure.  The 4 months of rent had been their vacation fund for the summer and they all had a good laugh about it.  Slumlord gave us an incentive to move and offered us some of our rent back if we moved by the end of September, yet another lie.

The very next day, Greasy and his wife moved in!  Our neighbors there texted me and told me about it.  Greasy paid the back mortgage to keep Slum from losing the house.  Of course, they probably lied and said that we never paid the rent, just like they told us about the previous tenants.  This shit is why I don't believe in karma.  I get screwed over and that person ends up better off than they were before.  Greasy and Slum have a "handshake rent-to-own" deal.  ha!  Slum will never sign over the title to that house and he'll screw Greasy over just like he did to us!

Anyway, Slum's mom told me how much she'd missed us and loves us and how she was hoping we'd show up at their house someday.  I let her say her piece, as I know she'd been holding it in for months.  It's just tough, because, as sincere as she sounded, I feel like they were all in on it.  If any of them were really our friends, they would have said they were behind and there was the chance of losing the house instead of letting us move in, transfer the kids to another school, and then have to move again in 4 months.  Or, at least give us our rent money back, as it was never used for the mortgage and bills for that rental.  They've all said they were sorry, but like I tell my kids, don't tell me you're sorry, show me you're sorry.

I'm emotional, as goodbyes/confrontations suck.  But, I'm glad that I got that over with.  I had been fearing that they'd report my son to the Boy Scout Council or something for not delivering the popcorn.  I wouldn't put anything past Mrs. Slum.  I was really hoping to avoid all of them and drop the popcorn on the porch and text them when I got home.  If I had to talk to any of them, I'm glad it was one of the parents, though.

Thanks for reading,

~ Vanessa

Investiture Ceremony

My troop did their first Investiture Ceremony!  I did a short introduction, then had the girls say the Promise (which most of them have memorized).

To help them do the Law, I assigned them each a couple of lines from the it.  I was a little disappointed that I was the only one who worked with my daughter on her portion of the Law.  Luckily, I am realistic, if not a little pessimistic, and I wrote out the sections of the Law and had the girls read from their script.

I then had the girls turn their pins upside down and I told them that they could turn it back the right way when they have done three good deeds and told the group what they have done.

I then awarded them each with their troop crest.  I had them vote on the meanings at a previous meeting.  They chose the Bluebird, which means "happiness and good fortune."  I had read on one site that it also meant "always singing" or "loves to sing" or something like that.  My girls do love singing and are a pretty happy group, so I think the Bluebird suits them well.

The ceremony was pretty short and simple.  I didn't want to do anything too long and elaborate, as this group is mostly Daisies.

After, we decorated Snickerdoodles and gave them to the staff at the retirement home where we meet as a "thank you" gift.  The staff appreciated their Halloween treat!

Thanks for reading,

 ~ Vanessa

Explaining TAPs

I am the the main leader of a Daisy and Brownie troop.  My co-leader leads the Daisies and I lead the Brownies.  With the exception of my daughter, a second year Daisy, the girls are all brand new to Girl Scouts.  The Brownies are approaching the end of their A World of Girls Journey.  We had sent out Flat Juliettes about two months ago, and had received no response, so we've had to move on with their TAP.

To help explain TAPs, I did an exercise with them to figure out wants versus needs and how they could build on that.  First, we started with humans.

These girls are more interested in animals, though, so we also did the same exercise with animals.

They actually came up with some great ideas that they could use for higher awards (Bronze, Silver, Gold)!  They were especially interested in per grooming.

In talking to each other, they discovered that they have both had snakes.  They decided to make educational snake posters and to make a climbing structure to be donated to Animal Services for snakes in foster care.  I was kind of leaning toward making the poster look more professional and have them tell me their ideas and I'd type it out, so it could be donated to Animal Services.  They vetoed me and said they wanted it to be hand written and drawn.  Oh well, it is their first TAP, and it is supposed to be girl-led.  Hopefully, the climbing structure will turn out well!  I've never really been around snakes.  I've done my research and talked to a snake expert at PetCo, so hopefully, it will be what Animal Services wants.

Animal Services was very surprised when I called them and asked what they could make for snakes!  Most Girl Scouts want to do something for the cute and cuddly animals.

I will post pictures of their completed TAP.

Thanks for reading!

 ~ Vanessa

First Award Ceremony

Last week, my Girl Scout troop had their first award ceremony.  They received the awards that they earned over the summer.

Summer was a very interesting time for our troop.  We lost nearly all of the girls from last year.  Their parents just weren't interested in having their kids continuing.  Unfortunately, there is nothing a leader can do in that situation.

However, we gained new girls!  This new group is great and their parents are very supportive!

Here are the awards they earned over the summer:

Thanks for reading!

 ~ Vanessa

Legitimate Reasons to "Un-friend" Someone (In Real Life and Online)

I am the type that takes relationships very seriously, including friendships.  I don't throw the word "friend" around lightly.  For me, friendship is a two-way street.  I am loyal and give people many chances, but once the trust is gone, it is not easily gained back.

I have several close acquaintances that I enjoy being around.  But, I really don't think I have any friends.  My kids and I are very active in our community.  I serve on several committees (Cub Scouts, Policy Council, etc.), am a Girl Scout Leader, and my kids are in many sports.  I have very good acquaintanceships in many of those.  I talk to the other parents about the kids' activities, school, etc.  But, would I call them out of the blue to hang out or vice versa?  Probably not.  I have tried setting up play dates, which people generally seem interested in at first, then either don't get back to me or flake out at the last minute.  That's fine, if that's who you are, but I'm not willing to invest too much time or energy  into this type of relationship.

1) Stealing.

When my hubby and I were on our honeymoon, we had his "best friend" houses-sit for us.  He was told that he was not to have extra people over.  His girlfriend at the time invited several people over.  They stole some of our wedding gifts and left used condoms in weird places.  He still considers him a very good friend.  I have less-than-nice thoughts about him.  If he were to apologize and reimburse us for the theft, I could have forgave him.  This was the beginning of the end of my friendship with this couple.

2) Interactions are no longer positive.

After seeing this person, you feel bad, instead of happy.  Or, the thought of upcoming plans fills you with dread.

3) They are not good for your spiritual health.

Maybe you are envious or jealous of this person or their life.  (One of the the 10 Commandments)  Or, every time you see that person, you want to deck them.  (Not one of the 10 Commandments, but still...)  Wishing ill will on them is probably not the best path to Heaven, either.  So, the less they are in my life, the better.

4) They are not good for your mental health.

My mom used to dread getting Christmas newsletters from one of her childhood best friends.  My parents always struggled with money, so getting this newsletter of her friend that was doing so much better always made her bitter for weeks.  Her jealousy of her friend's "perfect life" caused issues in my parents' marriage.

When I first learned of this rental going into foreclosure, I "un-friended" this couple about a week later.  I didn't want them to get offended by something someone said to me on Facebook.  (Yes, I was very worried about protecting their feelings at first)  I also couldn't express myself for this same reason.  Lastly, once the anger set in, I did not want to have to see their vacation pictures.  Vacations that I paid for.

5) No reciprocation.

As I said, I have several good acquaintanceships.  Mostly, these are based on proximity.  I have one former co-worker that was like a sister to me when we worked together.  When we no longer worked together, she stopped returning calls and other flaky behavior.  When she needs something, we are close again until she no longer is in need of something.  She has many good qualities, but reciprocating friendship is not one of them.

6) Flirting with your significant other/overprotective of their significant other.

Luckily, I have not had to deal with the first half of this since high school.  I was the only girl in my group of friends to date regularly.  I had friends that would "innocently" flirt with my boyfriends.  I also had girls that were nice to me to get closer to my high school sweetheart.

7) Putting down your significant other.

One of my high school BFFs constantly put down my boyfriends.  Granted, my taste in men left a lot to be desired, but still, she should have waited to bash them after the relationship was over.  My boyfriend right after high school, she would constantly call him my "insignificant other" to his face.  I later learned he was a cheater and other not nice things, but she should have addressed any concerns privately instead of antagonizing him.

8) Lying.

I am a very honest person, but I admit that I should learn how to do better with "white lies" to protect someone's feelings.  I don't enjoy being lied to, so I do not want to be around people that lie to me.

9) You don't condone their behavior.

My husband' best friend pretty much exclusively dates very large, very needy women.  He takes advantage of them and cheats on them.  I have told my husband that it worries me a little that he hangs out with him.  His last live-in girl friend and I became very close.  He wasn't happy that I took her side over his.

10) Gossiping.

When I made the decision to "un-friend" my "landlords," I also had to "un-friend" many mutual friends, both in real life and on Facebook.  I know that our mutual friends will repeat anything said or flat out make up things about us.
11) They are just plain toxic.

No matter your history with this person, who needs this in your life?  Even if only temporary, a break from such a relationship is necessary.

Like I said, I take friendships seriously and do not lightly end them.  But, there is no reason to continue being hurt/taken advantage of.

 ~ Vanessa