My hubby and I had a long pre-dating period. We had both dated people that were about as far from being "the one" as possible. I was probably more reluctant than he was to get into a relationship. We were in that phase for about a year, so we both assumed that we were stuck in the "friend zone." He wanted a relationship, but I was still hesitant.
I was probably a little selfish and afraid. My future hubby was more eager to get into a relationship. I was happy having a cute friend to go out with and talk all night with. Plus, by not being in a relationship, I wouldn't get dumped or hurt. My previous relationships, needless to say, did not go well.
My BFF at the time, J, was also single. We had both gotten out of long-term/serious relationships. Well, hers was serious, my previous relationship was just long and painful. Neither of us had ever had a decent Valentine's Day, so we had an unspoken pact to remain single on that day, and just spoil ourselves and each other. We were both way better Valentines than our exes. I bought my first lingerie for myself that year and learned to spoil and take care of myself for once. I was pretty much a door mat to my exes, and spent more time trying to please them than taking care of myself.
However, my future hubby thought I was using this an excuse not to date him. On February 9th of that year, he told me how he really felt about me and asked me to be his girlfriend and Valentine. It was really sweet and I had felt the same way for a long time. I had been hoping to avoid the "relationship talk" until after Valentine's Day. J was a little mad at me for having a boyfriend, too.
Since we started officially dating on February 9th, the next day, I proposed to skip Valentine's Day. I know, I'm so romantic. I just thought it was too much pressure on a new relationship. He went all out, and it was a great Valentine's Day, and the greatest one of my life up until then.
We got married a little over a year later, in March. By the end of September that first year, he had started to ask about my dad's work schedule. The time he got off from work, and his days off. My parents and I were not close in my teen years, and I moved out the day after I graduated. I had been supporting myself financially since I was 17 years old. My parents divorced when I was 19, which brought my dad and I closer.
I spoiled my future hubby's plans to ask my dad's permission to marry me. I told him that if he needed to ask anyone's permission to marry me, it was mine and mine alone. And, if he did ask my dad's permission, he wouldn't have mine. It's a nice concept, but to me, it was a little offensive.
I think I changed his mind, or at least deterred him a little. He renewed his hinting about marriage in October. That year would be our first Christmas as a couple (and would be our last as just us, as we would discover a little later). We decided to wait until after Christmas to discuss marriage again. We also met the extended families that Christmas season. I admit I was wanting to know a little bit more of what I was getting into.
Into that new year, we talked more and more about getting married. Somehow, we had both decided that we were for sure getting married. My independence and stubbornness cheated myself out of a real proposal. I suggested getting married on February 9th, the anniversary of our first kiss. We had no idea what we were doing, so my mother-in-law thankfully stepped in to help us plan it. She proposed March 26th, as that would be more time to plan it, plus there were relatives that were already planning on being in town that weekend. That worked for us, plus it was an extra month of planning.
Our wedding was nice, though different than the one I had thought that I'd have. I had always pictured a casual, outdoor wedding in late summer and wearing a pretty floral dress. Instead, we had an indoor church wedding, with the traditional dress and veil, and all. About 2 weeks before Christmas, we found out we were pregnant.
It really was a beautiful ceremony, though. My dad, due to my previously mentioned stubbornness and independence, was taking bets that I'd get cold feet. I had forgotten my shoes before the ceremony and had to drive back to get them, and he thought for sure that it was just an excuse. I was 23 when I got married, which he thought was a little old. Like I said, I had issues with my parents.
For years, my hubby and I celebrated both anniversaries, February 9th and March 26th. Now, we pretty much celebrate just our wedding anniversary as "our anniversary."
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